Thursday, April 20, 2017

I'm Starting To Get It

Hi there Dear Ones:

I wanted to tell you about how Jesus loved on me BIG TIME today and how it removed some blinders from my eyes also. This week we came back to homeschool after our week long Spring Break. My girls because of fetal alcohol syndrome struggle so much with their education. In fact it's because of their struggles we made the decision to homeschool. I homeschool year round so as to help retention as much as possible. I can not even tell you how many times I have felt completely inept for the task. A couple of days ago was one of the hardest homeschool days we have had in a while. I have said many times that parenting a child with FAS is similar to living a Groundhog Day scenario.

In a moment of discouragement I posted on facebook how we were having a hard day and I asked for prayer for my girls and for myself. I received lots of sweet comments and prayers that I know got me through that day. One comment in particular though grabbed me. It was from a adoptive Mama like myself ahead of me on the journey. Her son has FAE and her words went right to my heart and they meant more than any other words written that day, simply because I knew she knew. We began to private message one another and the wisdom she shared with me having walked the path ahead of me brought me so much help, peace, reassurance, understanding and confirmation.

All I could think about was Jesus really doesn't leave you alone. And then it hit me. You hear things all the time like there is purpose in your pain and to be completely honest with you that statement has always rubbed me the wrong way. There has been some pain in my life I would throw my fist up at God and scream no thank you, pick someone else, because I hated it so much and wanted ZERO to do with it. But today God allowed me to see more clearly than ever before on this purpose of our pain.  I felt such a hope and a healing as this Mama took her time with me. And then I started to get it. As I am a bit further along in my struggles, as she was in mine, I find the purpose there. Someone is coming after me. Jesus loved on me big time through her and I am going to be used by Him so He can love on somebody else big time through me.

This is one of the ways that all things work together for good I am sure of it! This is why we don't do life alone! This is why our relationships are precious and we need to protect them fiercely with every every fiber of our beings. This is why I strive to be authentic as I walk my path because someone is coming behind me.

Thank you Jesus for every ounce of your enormous love you poured out on me today. Keep me tender and sensitive so you can bring purpose out of my pain. Thank you that nothing is wasted with you! Your a good good Father and I am loved by you! Never let me miss the opportunity to be your hands and feet to be used by you to love others. I want to make the devil pay BIG TIME for every bit of pain hes brought my way.

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