Thursday, January 29, 2015

Big God

Good Morning Dear Ones:

So as we get closer to the end of this school year. The assignment that is before me with homeschooling weighs on me more and more. There is just so much uncertainty but I guess if there wasn't any then there wouldn't be any need for faith.

Last night I did a practice spelling test with Jubilee and when I look at what she doesn't know or grasp I start to feel fear rise up HUGE inside of me. Thoughts like:

How am I going to do this? If schools can't help her understand what makes me think I can help her understand? I have no degree. I am just a Mom.  This feels way too BIG.

I was reading in my Draw The Circle Prayer Challenge book this morning and it left me in tears. It posed the question:

"Are my problems bigger than God or is God bigger than my problems? Our biggest problem is our small view of God. How big is your God? Is he bigger than your worst sin, GREATEST FEAR, or biggest dream? IF He is bigger than all of those things, then pray like it."

What I see FEELS so much bigger than me, and based on my fear level it must at times feel bigger than God.

So today I am asking for God to expand in my eyes. I am asking forgiveness for making Him too small. I know I am walking in obedience. This step into the homeschool world is a HUGE leap of faith. Father God take us the rest of the way on this journey. Do your thing and be glorified. You decide what that looks like. Not me.  It doesn't matter what evidence is against us. With you nothing is impossible. I promise to keep showing up to what you have called me to do and I know from that I will see your promises come to life in our lives. Crush these fears in my life with your awesome power.  Fetal Alcohol Syndrome is NOT bigger than YOU. Bring on the future and the hope you have for Mercy and Jubilee.
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