Good Morning Dear Ones:
My most favorite time to come on here and share is when God has spoken clearly to me.
I had a rough morning this morning. I let negativity grab ahold of me. I just didn't want to do the morning. You know the day in and day out routine. Get kids up. Feed them. Listen to their bickering because they woke up grumpy too. Look around at all the household chores that I have avoided and that have now reached embarrassing , please nobody ring my doorbell levels.
Then to top it off I completely forgot my hubby had made plans to go golfing for the day and when he reminded me and I was still in my ugly brown robe with my hair all askew in desperate need of a shower, toothpaste and grooming. I lost it. I blew up at my man. My best friend. My biggest cheerleader and soul lover besides Jesus.
My reaction was far uglier than my bed head let me tell you. So I just feel yucky. I hate I let that ugliness and harshness come out of me.
Once the house was empty it was time to address the emptiness in my heart. I sat down to be with Jesus and my "Unglued" devotional seems to be a perfect fit. I opened it up to the section where I had left off and was blown away by the perfect timing of the entry.
The thought of the day was this:
"Sometimes I feel guiltier for what I am not than thankful for what I am."
It was a WOW moment for me. I was upset for losing my patience and being ugly and God was going deeper to what has really been going on in my heart lately.
It is effortless for me to feel guilty.
My house is rarely ever really clean and barely even picked up most of the time.
Laundry rarely ever gets folded and sits in clean piles around the house unless we have a house showing.
I don't enjoy food prep, or clean up and would choose eating out, for any meal, any day of the week.
I'm having a hard time with 2 of my 6 children right now and I kind of feel at a loss as to what to do to get to a better space with it all.
I don't feel like a good leader in my business.
I keep making poor food choices.
Guilt, guilt, guilt and more guilt.
I just felt like Jesus tenderly caressed my sad heart this morning and said what are you thankful for about who you are Michelle? What about you can you celebrate? If I am honest that is a hard one for me. It's like I walk around wearing guilt tinted lenses ALL. THE. TIME.
But I know this is true in the word of God so I am going to set my mind on truth and I am going to do my best to practice it every time guilt tries to raise it's wicked head.
"For you created my innermost being; you knit me together in my mothers womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful I know that full well."
So what about me can I celebrate? This is what comes to mind:
I ADORE my family. I majorly care about how we are doing? I am passionate about our relationships. Having a mediocre family life will NEVER sit well with me. Eric has called me the relationship police before and you know what I am ok with that label.
I love to encourage. If I can speak truth to someone and help lift them from low places I love to be used in that way.
I can be witty and funny.
I love finding and giving the perfect gift.
I can be very real, meaning I don't want to be pious in how I live my life.
I can write things that people can relate to.
I am tenderhearted.
I am compassionate.
I am honest.
I love Jesus.
So much of the time perspective, if looking through the wrong lenses gets me into such a mess. Father God help me put these guilt lenses down. Help me remember to celebrate who you made me to be. I don't want to dwell on what I wish I were.
Forgive me for messing up this morning. You have begun a good work in me and you will be faithful to complete it.