Monday, August 5, 2013

How Long Will You Mourn?

Hello Dear Ones:

It is right at 1:00 in the morning and one hour ago my birthday started.  I just am not able to sleep tonight because I wanted to share a gift the Lord gave me yesterday.

My last two posts I have shared about my relationship problems. There are Issues I have been wrestling with for quite some time. To the point of discouragement and sometimes a loss of hope.

At church yesterday God slammed into the walls around my heart with a wrecking ball of truth and hope. I mean some serious demolition took place. I just hope I can successfully describe the experience.

Pastor Furtick  preached a word that may just go down as one of the most impactful sermons I have heard yet in my life. It was so tailor made for my emotional prison. I say prison because I have felt so chained. So stuck. Certain hurts in my life have had me bound, and honestly even though I have been a christian for most of my life I did not know how to get free. I knew forgiveness was my key but my problem has been not knowing how to turn it.

One of the verses Pastor shared was 1 Samuel 16:1

"The Lord said to Samuel, How long will you mourn for Saul, since I have rejected him as king over Israel? Fill your horn with oil and be on your way; I am sending you to Jesse of Bethlehem. I have chosen one of his sons to be King."

Pastor shared how Samuel had a lot invested in Saul, but Saul had rejected the word of the Lord and so the Lord rejected Saul as King. So Samuel mourned.

Let me share some of my sermon notes. Pastor hit me hard with some of these questions:

"How long are you going to stay in a season that is over? Compromise your destiny because of your history? Don't stay stuck on Saul and get to David." "Staying stuck in what was, causes you to miss what is and what could be."

Boy have I had some "Saul situations." Stuck in my pain. Mourning over how things had been and how I wish they would have been. It is so time for me to get to "David."

My next notes Is where I started to crumble. Hardness became soft. Heaviness lifted. Sweet Freedom flooded my spirit.

Pastor said "moving on doesn't mean you stop hurting or caring or even wishing, it just means, in the reality, you can't change it.""Your dream may have died, but your hope doesn't have to." I always felt like the pain had to stop hurting or that my reality had to be different for me to let things go or to hope.

I am so tired of wearing my hurts. I am ready for a new wardrobe. I am ready to stop mourning and move on. God has better for me. I don't want to miss what is and what is next.

Words have cut my soul.
Actions have broken my heart.
People have left me.

Time to stop mourning. I can't rescript those things but I can respond, and I am lifting up the hurt that I can't change to Him and moving on because God still has oil. I have hope. I have turned the key. I am set FREE!

photo credit: PMillera4 via photopin cc
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