Hello again Dear Ones:
God crumbled me today. In a good way because He is a good God. I had been feeling like such a project for him. So many internal issues wrestling inside myself.
Character issues. Forgiveness issues. Honor issues. Selfishness. Not a pretty list is it?
If you read my post yesterday I was feeling really bad about honoring the difficult people. I kept thinking what is wrong with me? Why is this so hard? Why doesn't hearing the truth, hearing the word make this any easier? Why do I have to have these issues?
A snipit from one of My Pastors sermons today was on Facebook. I watched it and then I crumbled. It was like a piece of the wall that has had me inprisoned was chipped away.
Yes there have been difficult people in my life. Yes there have been hurts. Some situations left me raw and broken and full recovery has eluded me. Today though it became clear that I am partially to blame. I put people in a position to fill things inside of me that they were not designed to fill. I put them in the position of trying to turn a "good thing into a God thing" the position of turning " human encouragement into heavenly affirmation"
As this truth crumbled me before the Lord today, I felt hope. I want those walls torn completely down. I want to be set free. I want what only God can give me.
Father God forgive me for putting people in positions that they were not designed for. Forgive me, for ONLY you can affirm my deepest needs. Father God you are so incredibly faithful. Even if I am a huge project you will be faithful to complete the good work you have begun in me.
Take down the walls. Rebuild fresh and new.