Friday, February 24, 2012

Grace

Good Morning Dear Ones:

Can I expose some of my week with you this morning. It may have a bumpy start but endure with me to the uplifting end. Coming back from Weekend To Remember was kinda like being slapped in the face with reality. Big Sister has been taxing to say the least. She has brought her defiance to a whole new level. A doctor prescribed her a new sleep medicine in the hopes that she would get more sleep but it has not helped at all. She was up five times last night. Going to her numerous doctor and therapy visits are a huge challenge on a good week and this week made me want to run for the hills.

Yesterday I was so discouraged that I thought again to myself, what on earth could God be thinking to think I can parent a F.A.S child well. Instead of bringing out the best in my child I felt she was bringing out the worst in me.

To add insult to injury I found out this week that adoption subsidy's may be cut drastically. So I spent a lot of my week worrying. Things like, will I ever feel satisfaction in parenting an F.A.S child? Will our finances ever feel like we can breath?

I reached out to a friend yesterday and asker her to pray for me. I can tell she brought my situation before the throne of grace and this is how My heavenly father ministered to me:

One of the resources we bought at our weekend getaway was "Grace Based Parenting" by Dr. Tim Kimmel. So often times I feel alone and at a loss for good, hopeful encouraging resources where the girls are concerned. Like I said before so much of what is out there brings death to my spirit and crushes my hope. So I have stuck to my refraining from any such discouragement. God's word and books that are based on His word are the only things that have brought me real hope.

Last night as the house was quiet and everyone was sleeping (even Big Sister) I dove into this book. Once again I was divinely spoken to as clarity was brought to my mind about a critical parenting tool. Grace. So far what I am getting out of it is improving on raising my children the way God raises His. "Grace does not exclude obedience, respect, boundaries or discipline, but it does determine the climate in which these important parts of parenting are carried out.""Grace is not so much what we do as parents but HOW we do what we do."

I was reminded in the book that it's His grace that loves ME, when I am foolish, stubborn, selfish, or mean spirited. I loved these quotes from the book:

"At the core of grace is love ~ a love that delights in us in spite of our sin and comes to us free of charge."

"Saying that we love our children and doing certain things that communicate love isn't enough. We've got to love them in the way God loves us ~ when they're unappreciative, when they don't deserve it, when it's inconvenient, when it is costly to us, even when it's painful."

God's grace is helping me to accept all my children as they are. I failed miserably this week. I am thankful for God's forgiveness and grace towards me. I am counting on His grace to "help me recover from the mistakes I've made with my kids." I want to parent each of them as they are uniquely designed as He parents me. Full of grace. So I will leave you with this:

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness, therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." 2 Corinthians 12:9




Monday, February 20, 2012

What I Want To Remember

Dear Ones:

Eric and I just got back from Family Life's Weekend To Remember Retreat. It was so good for us to get away just the two of us, having some respite time, from the chaos, that is life with 60 little piggies.

Working on our marriage is important to us. I have to say, I am beyond thankful, that it is just as important to my man as it is to me.

We were reminded of so much important information in which to do battle with. Reminded of who our enemy is and who it is not.

We were able to enjoy uninterrupted times of communication. A rarity for us. The whole conference guides you to Christ first and foremost. I really feel like I came away from it with a realignment of my priorities. I so badly need the holy spirit to not only be resident but president in my life. I need to be empowered by the Holy Spirit because I can not make it in the energy of my flesh. Always surrendering my desires for control to the One who actually is in control.

We were able to talk about things that have been wounds in our relationship. The conversations has lead to hope and the behavior to follow I am sure will lead to healing. Forgiveness is a MUST in every marriage/relationship.

Here are some quotes from the speakers I never want to forget:

"If two people are not speaking to each other, Satan is speaking to them both."

"You can not talk your way out of a problem you behaved your way into."

"Children are a gift from God, raised by the grace of God, and released for the Glory of God."

"Make the most of the best and the least of the worst."

"When raising your children the days are long, but the years are very short."

"The opposite of love is indifference not hate."

"Your chances of leaving a legacy is 100% so what kind of legacy will you leave?"

"You can not choose your heritage but you can choose your legacy."

There is so much good stuff there to chew on isn't there? I don't want to listen to Satan. I want to behave in a way that pleases my king. I want to value my husband and children for the gifts from God that they are. I am guilty of focusing on the worst at times. I want to make the most of my time with my family. The days can be so long right now but the years truly are racing by. I don't want to be indifferent especially in challenges. I want to leave a legacy that glorifies God.

I am so thankful we had this time together this weekend. Let me encourage you just how important your marriage is. If it has been a while since you have made some time to focus on it, pray and ask the Lord to provide the opportunity to do so. It is worth every single hoop you have to jump through and every single tear that might be shed. God is good and He has a future and a hope for you and your marriage that is beyond what you can even imagine. I'm not saying it will be easy. In fact it is hard work but so worth the effort. You will be glad you made the effort. It is one of the best things you can do for your children if you are a parent.

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