Thursday, January 26, 2012

Grab Some Tissues

Dear Ones:
 A friend of mine shared this with me and it is to  good not to share. Grab tissues I balled my eyes out.


Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Embracing Seasons

Dear Ones:

It is a beautiful day here where we live. One of the things I enjoy most about our neck of the woods is we get to enjoy a nice taste of each wonderful season.

This morning I was reading a devotional with my guys, by my boy Max Lucado. The starting verse was this:

"To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven." Ecclesiastes 3:1

The devotional talked about how "God dispenses life the way he manages his cosmos: through seasons."

We expect earthly seasons and even enjoy them but somehow when the change of personal or emotional seasons happen we can be so upset. As I read these words it rang so true for me. There are some changes like new paint colors on my walls, rearranging a room,  or a new outfit that I totally relish. But mess with my emotions, order of doing things or my semblance of control and you have a season resister on your hands. Those are the times when you think why can't it always be spring? Why does anything have to change?

Max reminded me that through the seasons of our life that "You journey in the company of the Holy Spirit, who will teach you everything and will remind you of everything I myself have told you." John 14:26 And he encouraged me to "make friends with whatever is next."

For some time now I have been in the resistance stage of the loss of how my parenting used to work.  I have greatly struggled with this change.

Max described how "change is a necessary part of God's strategy to use us to change the world, and God alters our assignments." I absolutely loved the examples he shared:

Gideon: from farmer to general
Mary: peasant girl to the mother of Christ
Paul: local rabbi to world evangelist
Joseph: baby brother to an Egyptian prince
David: shepherd to a king
Peter: fisherman to church leader

It was amazing to me to ponder these life reassignments. I mean these were drastic changes. Leaving comfort zone vacancies, big time. It was soothing to me. It reaffirmed that God does have a plan in our whole adoption journey, and it is, as always, so much bigger than I can even comprehend.

 Just like the saints mentioned above, I have been completely brought to a new season in my life. It has been very unfamiliar territory. But just look at each of those examples. They all came with suffering and hardship. But they also came with a great purpose. I certainly still have those days where I feel like why? Why did He choose us for this? But you know what? I really am starting to embrace the changes. Starting to look with anticipation to see this reassignment play out. See the purpose in it all. I fall more and more in love with my savior every single day. Only He could have orchestrated such a reassignment and plan and it can only be for good and His glory that He did so.

Stay tuned Dear Ones the best is yet to come, you won't want to miss it!

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

167 Days and Counting

Dear Ones:

Just thinking about my sweet Jubilee (Big Sister) this morning. It has been 167 days since our last court date. That is exactly 5 months and 14 days since the judge terminated parental rights. Which is precisely 2 years 5 months and 14 days since she came to our home.

It has been easier somewhat since Mercy's adoption was final. It was like putting down large buckets full of concrete and finally resting the day she became ours. I didn't have to worry about her life anymore. I knew she would be loved and taken care of. It just seems logical that Big Sister will follow suit right?

The other day she was coming home on the bus and I had to go to an appointment and passed her on the hill going up to our house. The bus aid told Eric she lost it when she saw me pass. She cried her eyes out for Mommy. She thought I was leaving her.

Like I have said before, the judge has no time limit to make a decision on this second appeal and then birth mom technically will still get another appeal if she decides to do so.

I am just ready for the judge to make a decision already. We have to figure out a way to get 12 hours of training in before May now so she can remain in our home. Training that I have never found useful. I'm ready to put her buckets down. I'm ready to not have to worry about her well being. To know she will be safe, loved and taken care of.

Can I just ask for prayer today my friends? Pray we will hear something soon. Pray it will be in our favor. Pray she will transfer to the adoption unit soon.

I think most days I am doing pretty well waiting on the Lord with this, but today I just want to cry.

Monday, January 23, 2012

Mini Makeovers In Progress

Hi Dear Ones:

I thought I could wait this post out but I just can't do it. I have been doing some redecorating around the house. No project is finished yet, they are all still works in progress, but I could not be more pleased with how things are going. Fresh and new happy colors abound. There are still some finishing details like bed skirts, curtains and wall art to finish the jobs but so far so YAY!!!!

I have to give my Father-in Law a shout out because thanks to him and all his hard work last week the walls look amazing!

Here are some of my before and afters. I will post finished jobs when they are complete.

Office before 1 (brown)
Office before 2 (Blue)
Voila ~~~ Office after (gray and yellow)

Master Bed before

Master bed after ~~~ I LOVE it so much!!!
Kitchen before (green and orange)
Kitchen after (deep turquoise and you can see the fabric sample of a future valance with red and yellow too!!

So what do you think? I am just giddy about it all !!!!

Sunday, January 22, 2012

Another F.A.S

Dear Ones:

It is just one of those nights where I can't sleep. I was lying in bed and my mind was occupied with musings. I started thinking about my sweet girls. It pains me a great deal when I think about their diagnosis of fetal alcohol syndrome. The symptoms and struggles are all evident. Mercy was never in the situation that her issues could be a result of environment. Our home is the only home she has ever been in. It is heartbreaking to me, to think, F.A.S is not something you can "good parent" out of a child.

One of the main reasons our hearts were so pulled to adoption, I believe, was the desire to be good parents to someone who desperately needed that roll filled in their lives.

I think parenting wounded kids so much of the time can really cause parents to doubt their skills. Or even make you feel like you don't have any skills. The satisfaction of progress or success so much of the time can elude you. You want to see your child do well in life. To thrive, be successful, flourish and turn out well.

I know the Lord has told me to pray and believe BIG for my girls. I know as much as I love them He loves them more. So I started thinking what would He diagnose my girls with. This is what came to mind.

F - Fulfilling
A - Almighty's
S- Story

There are some things about my God, that I just know deep down in the core of my being to be true. Let me share a few. At the top of the list is He is redeemer. He can not be in a story where redemption is not part of the plot. I also know he is the God of Hope. Every ending he writes ends in hope.  And finally I know he always has a plan. So standing on these absolutes, my girls... His girls... are just in the preface of a beautiful story. The Almighty's story. It will come to completion. It will be fulfilled. And you know what,  it will be amazing!

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28

"He who was seated on the throne said, I am making everything new... Revelations 21:5

"For I know the plans I have for you (Mercy and Jubilee) declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

"Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith..." Hebrews 12:2

I'm thankful tonight that I get to be a main character in this story. To be continued...

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