Good Morning Dear Ones:
This mornings post has been on my heart for quite some time now. Many times I have felt the Lord stop my fingers from typing because my heart was just not in the right place. Things get muddled in the pool of hurt and a lack of understanding, so I waited for the Holy Spirit to make things more clear.
One of the biggest adjustments that has come from our adoption journey has been that every single relationship we have or had changed. Some for the worse and some for the better and some new relationships came into play as well.
As a large family and a special needs family at that, maintaing friendships is hard. Harder than I ever imagined it would be.
I know for us personally our parental responsibilities became so great, that I honestly didn't have, and often times still don't have, a lot left over. So I am sure that plays a huge role in relationship disintegration.
I am seeking God right now about how to find friendship and community again. I desperately miss doing life with others. Feeling a part and being included in relationships outside our family.
Honestly the girls neurological issues make it challenging. It is hard to participate in things with them when you know they struggle with impulse control and cause and effect. With my boys I used to help out in the church office, I could take them with me knowing they would listen to me and behave appropriately. Our childcare support system is minimal at best. So I am waiting on the Lord to help me figure things out. Maybe this is just for a season or maybe I need to learn some more skills or maybe God will help us find a better support system.
There is an awful ache in my heart to feel connected. Please Lord Jesus help me find friendship. Help me find where I fit with where I am at right now. In your precious faithful name I pray.
photo credit: Shandi-lee via photopin cc