Good Morning Dear Ones:
Can I expose some of my week with you this morning. It may have a bumpy start but endure with me to the uplifting end. Coming back from Weekend To Remember was kinda like being slapped in the face with reality. Big Sister has been taxing to say the least. She has brought her defiance to a whole new level. A doctor prescribed her a new sleep medicine in the hopes that she would get more sleep but it has not helped at all. She was up five times last night. Going to her numerous doctor and therapy visits are a huge challenge on a good week and this week made me want to run for the hills.
Yesterday I was so discouraged that I thought again to myself, what on earth could God be thinking to think I can parent a F.A.S child well. Instead of bringing out the best in my child I felt she was bringing out the worst in me.
To add insult to injury I found out this week that adoption subsidy's may be cut drastically. So I spent a lot of my week worrying. Things like, will I ever feel satisfaction in parenting an F.A.S child? Will our finances ever feel like we can breath?
I reached out to a friend yesterday and asker her to pray for me. I can tell she brought my situation before the throne of grace and this is how My heavenly father ministered to me:
One of the resources we bought at our weekend getaway was "Grace Based Parenting" by Dr. Tim Kimmel. So often times I feel alone and at a loss for good, hopeful encouraging resources where the girls are concerned. Like I said before so much of what is out there brings death to my spirit and crushes my hope. So I have stuck to my refraining from any such discouragement. God's word and books that are based on His word are the only things that have brought me real hope.
Last night as the house was quiet and everyone was sleeping (even Big Sister) I dove into this book. Once again I was divinely spoken to as clarity was brought to my mind about a critical parenting tool. Grace. So far what I am getting out of it is improving on raising my children the way God raises His. "Grace does not exclude obedience, respect, boundaries or discipline, but it does determine the climate in which these important parts of parenting are carried out.""Grace is not so much what we do as parents but HOW we do what we do."
I was reminded in the book that it's His grace that loves ME, when I am foolish, stubborn, selfish, or mean spirited. I loved these quotes from the book:
"At the core of grace is love ~ a love that delights in us in spite of our sin and comes to us free of charge."
"Saying that we love our children and doing certain things that communicate love isn't enough. We've got to love them in the way God loves us ~ when they're unappreciative, when they don't deserve it, when it's inconvenient, when it is costly to us, even when it's painful."
God's grace is helping me to accept all my children as they are. I failed miserably this week. I am thankful for God's forgiveness and grace towards me. I am counting on His grace to "help me recover from the mistakes I've made with my kids." I want to parent each of them as they are uniquely designed as He parents me. Full of grace. So I will leave you with this:
"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness, therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." 2 Corinthians 12:9