Good Morning. I just wanted to share with you some of how God has spoken to me this morning. I had my feelings hurt yesterday and my confidence and drive took a plunge. So I took my hurt feelings before my heavenly father this morning.
Yesterday I went to share one of my blog posts on my facebook page. As I went to enter the link it told me that my blog links had been blocked because someone marked my link as spam. I don't really know how posting a link about your blog on a page made for your blog is spam but what can you do?
It hurt my feelings and was a blow to my confidence. I have even been taking measures to insure that my writings are only reaching those who actually desire to read what I write like setting up a feed so that my posts only go out to those who subscribe to the feed. I know not everyone has to like or agree with what I write. I guess I just didn't expect that to happen on my own page that I use to help get the word out about my blog.
I started to feel like I must be fooling myself to think my writings matter. I began to feel jealous of others success. The whole comparison of Behind the Scenes and Highlight Reels again.
I began to doubt if my passion for writing was God given or not. I compared it to Guatemala and Foster care. When we started our adoption journey my heart was set on Guatemala. I hated the whole process of Foster Care. It is obvious to me now that God's plan was better than mine, so I wondered is this the way it is with my writing dream?
I will be honest with you, I want to grow in this love affair with communicating with my written words. I want a big blog following and lots of e mail subscribers. I want to publish articles and yes even one day I want to publish books. But is this like Guatemala, and does God have a completely different idea in mind? I don't know truthfully. I'm afraid to miss God. To look foolish and fail.
So I put my heart, fears and desires before my God this morning and this is what I feel he gave me. I am part of an online writing group...well by part I mean I get the groups e mails. This morning one of the participants wrote a message about how when Jesus walked the earth and when he healed the the ten leapers that 9 out of the 10 returned to their lives and never said thank you. He said how it can be that way with writing, that you can affect people and maybe only 10% will ever express how you have.
I don't know if this dream of mine will ever get off the ground. It may never be any more than it is right now. But just like Guatemala I will trust that God has my best interest at the center of His plan for my life.
Once again thank you for the thank you's and thank you Jesus for making me a writer...do with it as you desire and may my desires line up with your plan.