Good Morning Dear Ones:
I'm already meeting one of my MORE desires this morning with writing another blog post so soon. Somehow I think this one connects all my more longings.
God did not waste any time nudging my heart. Actually He has been gently nudging it for some time now, and an e mail I received from a dear friend this morning just confirmed it. Now it is up to me to respond. Will I shy away again or will I obey.
My friend shared a story about a fathers prayer for his child. How God did the miraculous in his child's life.
I know God was using my friend to speak to me. He has been telling me for some time now to petition Him more for my girls. I am ashamed to admit it but there are some things I have been scared to death to place my hope in Him for. I have stopped reading books about FAS and stopped participating in FAS groups online. I have stopped attending adoption support group. Each time I did any of those things something inside me died a little bit more. Honestly right now I don't know what the balance is between faith and reality. What am I to accept, and what I am to press into God for and believe Him for the miraculous?
I'm scared to hope for something, to place my hopes before the father and to miss him somehow, and for it to not to be His plan at all. To be brutally honest and exposed here, i'm scared to hope for God to do something BIG and to be disappointed, let down, and have my hopes crushed.
I guess my feelings are irrelevant. God is nudging me for a reason. So today I am asking Him for forgiveness. I repent that it has taken me so long to say yes to what he is asking me to do. Today I am accountable before God and all of you as I commit to petition my God for MORE in my girls lives. I am going to risk hope, even if what I hope for is unlike what God has in mind. Besides whatever he has in store I am sure is above and beyond what I could even ask or imagine. If He is telling me to ask then I am going to ask. God give me courage to pray until. Until you answer with your perfect and wonderful plan. Thank you for letting me be a part of it Father God. Thank you for more.