Thursday, October 13, 2011

Celebrations and Hope

Dear Ones:

So last Sunday as I woke up my first thought was "it's here, this day is FINALLY here. We get to CELEBRATE the mountain my God has moved. We get to celebrate that Mercy is forever ours." So I turned to my husband still next to me in bed with teary, joyful eyes and said those exact words to him. along with, "can you believe it is really here???"

The day was beautiful. It started with church and her dedication because, yes she is finally, legally, forever ours but she has always been HIS!

I could not imagine a better way to start celebrating than by dedicating her to Him. I had imagined that moment so often as we waited. I even thought to myself if given the chance to speak about what would I say. When the time came I simply crumbled. All I could get out was a tearful thank you to my heavenly father. She is such a gift. A marvelous, wonderful darling gift. I love how our Pastor called up those who have been with us on the journey to stand with us as we gave her to the Lord. I simply don't know how we would have made it without them and their support and prayers. It was so fitting for them to join us.

The party was just a delight. We shared a fantastic meal together. We watched a DVD slideshow I made about Mercy and the journey. Then we WORSHIPED!!!! We had a full worship team that led us as we just poured out our hearts in gratitude to the Mountain mover and lover of our souls! It was AWESOME!

The turnout was just so fantastic. We felt so supported and loved. A beautiful day to hold in my heart as we wait for Big Sister to forever join us. I hope you enjoy the pics I am able to share at this time. I wish I had captured more from the day especially of those who joined us but I was literally consumed and soaking in every single delightful moment. Hopefully I will do better about that next time. I should have asked someone to help out with that. 

Finally, I wanted to share some hope. Raising two girls with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome certainly calls for regular doses of it. I really can't describe how difficult it can be raising someone who has no cause and effect in their thinking, feeding and sensory difficulties, impulsiveness, sleep disorders, ADHD, speech and cognitive delays, lack of appropriate social behavior, demanding of parents time, acting out, delayed potty training, difficulty learning in school. Just to mention some of what we experience on a daily basis. FAS has no cure. It is permanent brain damage with lifelong challenges. It is so completely different then how I have ever parented. We spend most of our time being preventive instead of corrective. So I seek out help as we are dealing with new and challenging territory. Sometimes it can be so incredibly discouraging. Every book I have read....or article for that matter brings very little or no hope. So I have been looking up. Looking to the source of my hope. He has made me the mother of these two girls who are innocent victims in all of this. So what he has called me to do, I trust he will equip me to do. At bible study last night my God spoke to me. Oh how I needed to hear from him. You see I can feel so alone in the hard struggles of FAS. My girls look completely normal and I don't think many people even come close to getting it. I know I never did until I started living it. You can feel like you are in the desert desperate for an oasis...hope. Wouldn't you know last night at Bible study the topic included the desert. The place where you want out of so bad but God's activity and plan is often discovered and your life course is revealed a bit more. We heard about Moses. He saw the burning bush and found a new life course in the desert. And the desert equipped him with dedication, direction and destination. How encouraged I was. I am learning dedication more than ever in my life. I am dedicated to help my girls be who God created them to be, in every single aspect of their lives from feeding, to speech, to learning....everything. I am trusting that He will guide me when I have no clue what to do. When I feel like I have no tools in the box. Because they have a destination. They are HIS. So my eyes are open. I am looking for those burning bushes, those supernatural spiritual markers along the way that can be nothing else but His hand. Who knows maybe someday God will use and redeem every single struggle for His glory... if for nothing else other than I can say I've been there. God is faithful and God is good!

Living Loved!

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