Tuesday, May 3, 2011


Oh where to begin today Dear Ones:

If you know me personally, or if you have been following my blog for any length of time, it is no mystery that I am one emotional chica.

The problem with that is I tend to process my life emotionally. I process on how I feel. Emotions so much of the time are not truth and my biggest point of growth currently is learning to "reset my default button, those "go to emotions" that make me not be the me I want to be. I want "my natural flesh response" to be interrupted. I am tired of acting and even more so reacting how I FEEL like acting.

I am combating this with daily praise for who God is and thankfulness for all he does. My ultimate desire is to live my life based on truth rather than on feelings. I want the overflow of my life to exude that I have been with Jesus. I am making "intentional choices with my head" and waiting for my heart to follow.

Here is a great quote by Beth Moore ~ "Faith is believing with your head no matter how your heart feels."

God has his work cut out for Him with me but I know "He who began a good work in me will be faithful to complete it."

I am far from arriving....just yesterday I fell flat on my face and spent most of my day in an emotional tailspin. It started with my husband and I having one of those disagreements that we could not resolve quickly. Soon after my insecurities started to fill my brain. One of the biggest battles in my mind that I fight is that I am not "good at anything." We have a large family and finances are not, what you would describe as abundant. When things get tight, I feel like I should be good at something so I can help out. Hence, the way longer than I even want to recall, many failed attempts at home businesses.

Talking with a dear friend yesterday though brought "truth" to my perspective. He flat out asked me "Why isn't Mom enough?" He then went on to tell me that he and his wife use Eric and I as a parenting model. I don't share this to brag. Believe me I know full well my shortcomings as Mom. But I also know "Mom/family" is my heart....my calling, and when I look at my amazing bunch...my 60 little, and not so little piggies I am satisfied. It is enough.

I know some may be asking what about Creative Memories... well my answer is I love CM. I am just going to let it be organic... if I get the chance to share what it means to me then I gladly will but I am keeping it in it's place. I am not going to kill myself or my calling to FEEL like I am good at something, or even to see some dollars, because I have some very important things in my care right now and that is the real value.

So I am pressing on. As one of my devotionals said this morning, "when you get off track, (like I did yesterday), resolve to shorten the amount of time between the emotional trigger and the moment you release your feelings and the situation into God's care."

Truth really does set us free!

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