Yesterday I came across a quote from one of my favorite authors Max Lucado. Here it is:
"God Lets you excel so you can make him known. And you can be sure of one thing: God will make you good at something."
Well, it pricked something inside of me. I guess because most of the time I don't really feel like I have anything that I am particularly GOOD at. Now bear with me this is not a pity party blog post. In fact It is actually combative. I want to refute the enemies lies. I want to walk in truth and in freedom. Why is that so hard? I am a person who HATES lies! Lying in our household is in no way shape or form tolerated. So why do I fall so easily for the enemy's lies?
I think a part of me wants to be humble. I don't want to puff myself up. But do some of the things I believe about myself equate with humility or are they simply not true? Then I ask myself are they really true and I simply have a lot of myself to work on? I think the answer has to be somewhere in the middle. There has to be some healthy balance. Because, yes I am flesh and a work in progress to become more like Christ.
I sat down yesterday and started to look at all the thoughts I think about myself on a regular basis and it was scary how much I have not been holding my thoughts captive. I am going to be vulnerable here for the sake of maybe someone else will read this some day and be like "hey I can see myself in that situation." I know one of the greatest ways the Lord ministers to me is when I see those in the faith I admire and I see where the Lord has brought them from. Vulnerability with victory is very encouraging don't you think?
So with that I will give you my list that came to mind yesterday and then my refutals. I am sure it is not a complete list, I mean a lot of thoughts run through a girls mind, but it is a great start. Some I admit are embarrassing to even share but I wanted to be honest so if you leave a comment please be kind.
- I am ugly without my makeup. This one has plagued me for YEARS. I won't even go to my mailbox, or answer the door if the paint is not on. The truth is I have really nice skin and pretty eye color. Honestly I am struggling to refute this one but trying my best. It also made me just think about how good I actually am at makeup application but I digress.
- Physically unattractive. This really became a struggle after I gave birth to 4 boys. My body image just went in the dumps post pregnancy. The truth is I am almost 40 and gave birth 4 times and I'm really not to shabby considering. Am I airbrushed perfect? Heavens no. But I am real and I work daily to be the best physical me I can be and I think that is something to be proud of.
- Stupid/Uneducated. This one also has been a doozy. You see I never furthered my education beyond high school. I really did not have the desire to. But so many times in life I feel inferior because I didn't. My best friend has her doctorate degree and for such a long time I did not even get to know her because of thoughts like what could I possibly have to offer. But the truth is when it comes to relationships, degree's don't matter. I may not have a lot of book learning. But I work on my relationships and have learned plenty over the years. You can have wisdom without education. I am not discounting education just the lie that I am stupid.
- I am not a good Mom. This is a new one for me. You see growing up all I dreamed of being was a good wife and mom. We have 4 biological sons and they are simply INCREDIBLE human beings. I love them and I like them. They are something to be proud of for sure. So why has this been a struggle lately? Well, you see I think our boys really gave me a lot of confidence in my parenting. Then we brought 2 special needs girls into our home. I initially thought "I got this!" You know, it has been like starting from scratch. Everything that "worked" for our boys does not work for them. From everything from simple grooming to feeding to learning & discipline. I have had to seriously grieve the loss of what had worked so well for us in the past. Does this mean I am a bad mom? The truth is no. I still love the same. I just have to parent differently. I am still learning and am sure I will be for quite some time now but to God be the Glory because he has brought me to something that is completely beyond me and myself. Any progress, any success is all due to him. Praise His holy name!
- The last one I am going to share is this, I have no gifts or talents and I fail at whatever I try. Where does this one come from? Well maybe it is the billion home business ventures I have tried with little to no success. Maybe it is I have no musical or serious crafty abilities. Maybe it is because I know my photography is just a hobby and I really don't know what I am doing. So what's the truth? The truth is yes I have tried more things than I care to remember, but you know what at least I tried. So what if I am musically challenged. I still can worship God with all my heart and I am sure to Him it is a beautiful noise. So what if my photography is just a hobby. I have captured memories for people and our family that I am sure will be treasured and always will.
So there it is, a taste of how easy it is to give the enemy a foothold. I am getting sick of it. The truth really does set you free. Thank God for truth! You Know God's works are rarely easy and sometimes not even pretty. But May God be known in me and in my life. May truth rule and reign in my heart and mind. May I see where he has created me unique and where I, because of Him, succeed at being who he made me to be. So I will end with this truth:
“For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”