I am not sure where to begin with this post. I recently finished my Believing God bible study but I have to say it is just the beginning of believing. This journey truly has been a battle and has required all of me. I have experienced every emotion possible along the way: fear, hope, doubt, joy, anger, compassion, tenderness, hurt, confusion, & peace, just to name a few.
Something new from the study brings me encouragement:
"For the children of God, a perfect setup for catastrophic defeat is also the perfect setup for miraculous victory."
I have gone through so much mental conflict on so many levels. I really felt like a spiritual weakling but Praise God that faith is not the absence of conflict. Christ himself had conflict, remember Gethsemane? Just because we wrestle with God does not mean we are not running the race well.
This all makes up a part of my story of faith. My offering. The testimony God is writing about me. Praise God he does not look for perfection.
I think I get tripped up because I want to make a science of faith. To have a formula so to speak. But there is no science to this. No formula. Just belief. I also get tripped up when I believe him for something I dearly want and there is a wait or a no. Sometimes it is so hard to understand His higher ways and to know a no is for a better yes and that waiting has a purpose.
Here is what I can count on:
Faith does please God. Hebrews 11:6.
(the pleasure of God)
Something Beth said was such a comfort to me. "Better to believe and miss than live in the safety zone faithlessly. I have wondered many many times God did we miss you? And it is a comfort to know that even IF we were wrong we had faith and if we are to err then let us err on the side of faith.
Faith brings the power of God Eph. 1: 18-20
"When we believe we will either have the power to have what we asked for or the power to live victoriously with His answer instead of ours." That statement really hits home to me. I know how much power it will take for these girls to be forever ours. I also know the incredible power it will take to live victoriously if they are not to be. Either way it is all for the glory of God.
So though there is no science to faith. Those things I can count on. God's pleasure, God's power, and God's glory.
So I am boiling it down to this. God is strong and God is loving and for the rest of my days I am going to be believing Him, knowing full well that there will be times that it will require all of me and sometimes I am going to have to wrestle my way to the finish line.