I am really starting to get it. I cannot even really explain it. Somehow I am feeling a change. The biggest difference is I have more peace. The peace that passes all understanding. I really believe I will get through this journey victoriously no matter how it turns out. How I want it to turn out still remains the same, but even if that does not turn out to be the case I am believing that God is good. That He loves me. That He will get me through any difficulty. What an inward work He has been doing in me.
Don't you just love a good book? Sometimes I will put off finishing one because I don't want it to end. I am still reading "Believing God" by Beth Moore. I decided a while back to forgo my 40 day commitment and just make it an until commitment. I was just going to practice my faith until.... until I believed it. God is so faithful.
"His power is made perfect in our weakness."
2 Cor. 12:9
There is nothing to say for my condition other than it is His power.
I just had to share some truths from the book that have really been ministering to me.
"The Lord your God will be with you wherever you go."
"When Jesus told His disciples not to be afraid of the storm, the reason wasn't the removal of their frightful circumstances but the presence of their Savior." "Remember FAITH IS NEVER THE DENIAL OF REALITY. In other words the truth may be that you are presently surrounded by terrifying or terribly discouraging circumstances. The reason you do not have to buckle to fear and discouragement is the presence of God in the middle of your circumstances."
Oh hallelujah! How much comfort that truth has brought me. The circumstances with the girls have at times been both terrifying and discouraging, but MY GOD IS WITH ME! Someone, who has grossly failed Him at times through out this process but this is true:
"...just as I have been with Moses, I will be with you: I WILL NOT FAIL YOU OR FORSAKE YOU"
Oh I am just balling my eyes out as I type this post. God will not fail me or forsake me.
"I have good plans for you, not plans to hurt you. I will give you a hope and a good future."
I really am trusting and believing that to be true. There is a good future for me. For my family. For the girls. Whether the girls stay forever or not. I love you Father, thank you for your word, your truth and your presence!
Friday our CASA worker(Court appointed Special Advocate) comes for a home visit. Please continue to be in prayer for us. I am so thankful for the Hands of God in our lives.