Fragile explains exactly how I feel sometimes. I must admit that I don't like that about myself but it is my reality at times. It is funny for me to think I can go to church and make it through worship without tears. Today was particularly hard for me. It has been bothering me since Friday how upset baby girl gets at visitation. At least when we get her back she immediately settles down. It just has been breaking my heart that she gets so upset one hour a week with someone she sees once a week. How would it be if one of these grandparents gets custody. To hand her over to someone she has never seen and not be able to scoop her up in an hour and tell her everything is OK. The thought just makes me weep.
My faith and trust are not wavering. My dependance on my God has only intensified. But still sometimes I feel so fragile. I need Him more than ever. I love Him more than ever. I fall more in love with these girls with every passing minute. My pastor made the comment that God knows we are fragile. How comforting that was today. How safe to be real with my Savior. Hold me today sweet Jesus.
I'm sure this is not a well written post because I am just a ball of emotion but I had to get it out.
The pictures above are of some special moments this week. First is another God STOP. How I love recognizing them in my life. A friend from church had our older boys over for a sleepover last night and when we went to pick them up she gave us this bag of fresh basil and stuff to fix pesto. YUM!! It smells so good and I know it will be so tasty. She also offered to come over this afternoon to watch the 6 pack for us. I tell you I have been praying for God to send us some help with just having some re-charge time.He has come through BIG time. Just this week a Mom sent me an e mail saying her teenage daughters would volunteer their time to watch the 6 pack. I almost cried as I read the words come a crossed my screen. Then today in church a woman gave me her number for just that reason. Then my friend coming over today is such a blessing. I love these kids so very much but I feel I am a better parent and Eric too to just have some time away and recharge. Something I was not sure we would have the opportunity since we have so many blessings. I am just so thankful for the help. And to be approached by it is even better. I so hate asking someone to babysit. I know it is no small task. So in about 30 minutes my hubby and I will get away for an hour or two. I am so looking forward to it.
Finally my Woo Doo lost his first tooth this week and he officially has a first grade smile now. Isn't he such a cutie?