What a year 2008 was for our family. I must say it was one of our more difficult ones we have had. So many hard times and I was far from being at my best. I am writing today though to share hope. Hope for 2009. The Lord is so faithful, even when we are faithless...AMEN!
"If we are not faithful, he will still be faithful, because he cannot be false to himself"
2 Tim. 2:17
I feel peace in my soul. Something that was absent from me as things did not happen in this adoption as I wanted them to happen. That is my fault. Lack of trust in my Father. It changed who I was. I am thankful for the Lord's faithfulness. That he has never left me. That he forgives me.
Here is the latest in our journey to Mercy. On December 18th we mailed our termination contract in to AGCI. We basically hit a financial wall. I know in our desperation to bring our daughter home we made financial mistakes that we are consequently paying for. I am still unsure if we missed the Lord or not as far as Guatemala is concerned. By all appearances it seems like the doors only closed and never opened. I have to trust and believe that God is in control and has His purpose to fulfill and that it will prevail. This verse helps:
"If you go the wrong way--- to the right or to the left--- you will hear a voice behind you saying "This is the right way , you should go this way." Isaiah 30:21
The past few weeks have been so sweet to me. Circumstances have not changed but my perspective has. You see I can not guarantee that Mercy will ever come home. I hope with all my heart she will be in our home and not just our hearts some day. But if that never comes to pass, God is still good. I still have been blessed beyond measure. I wish each of you could know my boys, my husband....they are such gifts. Gifts that I want to treasure and not shortchange anymore while I am waiting. While I am waiting God still has purpose for me and I want to be pleasing in his sight.
This is not to say sadness can not creep in, I really have to guard my thoughts.
"We capture every thought and make it give up and obey Christ." 2 Cor. 10:5b
"Be careful what you think because your thoughts run your life." Prov. 4:23
"As water reflects your face so your mind shows what kind of person you are." Prov. 27:19
This last verse I am going to share pretty much sums up my past couple of weeks:
"... think about things that are good and worthy of praise. Think about things that are true and honorable and right and pure and beautiful and respected. Do what you learned and received from me, what I told you and what you saw me do. And the God who gives peace will be with you." Phil. 4:8&9
All I can say is I have loved this school break. I have soaked my family up like a sponge. I have guarded my thoughts and chosen to think about things worthy of praise. The God of peace has been with me, and I praise his holy name for it.
We will soon be meeting with our social worker to update our homestudy. We are praying and hoping for a domestic placement. Our biggest obstacle remains to be financial. Please continue to pray for our family, for the Father to lead us & meet our needs. For a little girl out there who needs a family. For us to remain strong in him as we wait. TO GOD BE THE GLORY!