Sunday, December 27, 2009


Dear Ones:

14 years ago today a dream came true for me. I became a mother. God blessed me with a delightful gift in my son Elijah. Yesterday he left on his first out of country missions trip to Nicaragua. I have to tell you I missed him before he even left. I am very excited though to see how the Father is going to work in and through his life because of this opportunity and experience. It is just a miracle that he was even able to go. It was a financial impossibility for our family. Elijah worked very hard mowing lawns, and any other odd job that would come along to help pay for his trip. He was also greatly blessed by both known and unknown givers to his trip. I can't wait to share when he gets back.

Happy Birthday my sweet son. I love you much and He loves you MORE!

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

I Needed Some Sifting...

Dear Ones:

It is with exuberant joy that I write this post. Today things I have battled all my life have been touched by God. In my living room this morning as I spent time in study I felt Him come over me like a flood.

Do you know the verse:

"Simon Simon Satan has asked to sift you as wheat But I have prayed for you Simon that your faith may not fail..."

In my Beth Moore bible study this week one of the lessons talked about this verse. She said God does not give permission for something to be sifted unless something needs sifting. Lately I have felt crushed by God. It has brought me so much frustration and constant seeking of Him. Today I know why. I know what has needed to be sifted in me. I know God has places to go with me and this particular thing can not go with us.

Let me introduce you to my new favorite life verse. I must admit when I first read it I was not to impressed but bear with me it gets good!


"Blessed is he, whosoever shall not be offended in me."
Matthew 11:6 KJV

Jesus spoke those words to the disciples of John the Baptist. John was in prison and sent his disciples to ask him are you the one who was to come or should we expect someone else?

Can you see how John must have been confused. He had given his whole life to "prepare the way." Now he was in prison while Jesus was out performing miracles. Let me quote from my study John's predicament.

"If he had been wrong he had either sacrificed all for nothing or missed the real Messiah. And if he had been right? Then Jesus had the power to free Him from prison and death. He simply wasn't using it."

WOW! Have any of you been there? Boy I sure have. Not necessarily a prison cell but an emotional prison. Frustrated in God's ways. I just have to share some more from the study:

"All of us called to faith will have this knife sharp experience in some form at some point. The deeper we have loved God, the deeper the potential for devastation when he doesn't intervene AS WE KNOW HE CAN."

" You (talking about John) are but one in a long train of humankind stretching across all the centuries of man who have called out to me with questions and doubts, you are but one voice among so many who wonder, and who agonize over my ways."

This brought me so much comfort this morning. You see all my questions and doubts lately have made me feel like a faith failure. What a relief to see a biblical account. John, (whom Jesus said "is greater than any other person born." Matt 11:11) yet he wondered.

a temptation that was discussed in the study is one I have battled way more than I even want to admit.

"If Christ is who he says he is, and can do what he says he can do, and I am His beloveds, why isn't he coming through for me? The study asked "Will we not ask because we are afraid of being offended? Embarrassed? Disappointed? At that point I became overwhelmed. I am guilty. I have been offended, embarrassed, and disappointed. Thankfully being offended is not terminal or unforgivable. Thankfully when I ask "Are you God or Not? If you are, why aren't you acting like it? that God reads my heart and knows my confusion, disappointment and devastation.

I am going to ask and keep asking for him to intervene. I am going to know He is able. More importantly I am going to trust that God is good if he doesn't act. I want a faith that trusts and I want to be blessed because I am not offended with Christ.

Remember this:

"Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego replied to the king Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter. If we are thrown into the blazing furnace the God we serve IS ABLE to save us from it and he will rescue us from your hand o king. BUT EVEN IF HE DOES NOT, we want you to know, o king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up." Daniel 3: 16-18

Thats what he has been working in my life. That I can believe he is able but if he does not intervene as I know he can then I will trust He is good and it is for a greater yes even if I can not even fathom how that is so and for me not to be offended at His ways."

This brings me freedom. Freedom from shame and guilt. Freedom to believe. Freedom to trust. The Lord has been so faithful to me. To complete a work he has begun in me. He has prayed for me that my faith would not fail. He is so sweet and I just wanted to share part of my journey to victory with you.


Thursday, December 10, 2009

Be Magnified

Dear Ones:

Bear with me this morning I have so much to get out. Starting with I am sick to death of fear. I am studying about faith and often times I think I am getting it but then a test comes and I am painfully shown that once again I have responded with fear. What I "really believe" surfaces.
Why is God so small in my eyes? I don't know but I am sick of it. I want him to BE MAGNIFIED!

God recently has told my husband and I to do something. I have wrestled with it because of fear. Circumstantially it makes no sense and I wonder how on earth will it work??? I have my reasons for not sharing what it is at this time but I will when the time is right.

Then in the past couple of days some more circumstances have enhanced my fears. Tuesday my husband was in a car accident that could have been really bad. Thankfully it wasn't. Then Last night I got a call from him that he was in another accident just 24 hours later. This one not as serious but fear gripped both of us as to what this will mean about his job. We still do not know at this point. We both responded with fear and our poor kids felt the brunt of it last night. We both asked forgiveness from them last night but I woke up this morning mostly regretful that fear comes so naturally. I am sick of my natural response. I don't know how long it is going to take the Father to work in me but I am asking him to be magnified. For His perfect love to cast out all fear. So I can walk by FAITH and NOT BY SIGHT for Pete's sake. I want to know God's word and I want to BELIEVE GOD more than anything else!!!!!

Forgive me as I say this but the devil is full of CRAP and I am sick of taking it! I ask that you pray for me dear ones, I feel like the Father has His work cut out for Him as far as I am concerned. Good thing He is BIG right?

I have made You too small in my eyes
Oh Lord, forgive me
And I have believed in a lie
That You were unable to help me.
But now, Oh Lord, I see my wrong
Heal my heart and show Yourself strong
And in my eyes and with my song
Oh Lord, be magnified

Be magnified, Oh Lord
You are highly exalted
And there is nothing You can't do
Oh Lord, my eyes are on You
Be magnified,
Oh Lord, be magnified

I have leaned on the wisdom of men
Oh Lord, (Please)forgive me
And I have responded to them
Instead of Your light and Your mercy
But now, Oh Lord, I see my wrong
Heal my heart and show yourself strong
And in my eyes and with my song
Oh Lord be magnified


Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Today I Have Peace

Dear Ones:

Yes today I have peace. I almost don't want to type the words or say them out loud. I guess for a few reasons. One, this is a peace that passes all understanding. I don't even know why it has come over me. I will be honest with you the past few weeks have been a downward spiral. A very low point for me. I will be honest nothing really has changed, not the circumstances, or the questions. So I do not understand why my soul and spirit are at rest today. Especially when less then 12 hours ago my heart was in anguish.

I have been seeking my Father. I have been in the word and in much prayer. I know many have come alongside our family with prayer and encouragement. For that I am truly grateful. It really is not good for man to be alone. So to those who stand with us & get down in the pit with us, I say thank you. Thank you for letting me be real with how extremely difficult this journey has been. I am sure I will need to again in the future. So I ask that you stay the course with us because it's not over yet.

A verse that I have been dwelling on lately is:

" There was NO HOPE that Abraham would have children. But Abraham BELIEVED GOD and CONTINUED HOPING and so HE BECAME the father of many nations. As God told him..."

I can relate that verse to myself as we continue to wait. I have put it to prayer:

Father God many times I have been WITHOUT HOPE, that we would adopt. I want to BELIEVE YOU and CONTINUE TO HOPE and SO BECOME an adoptive mother/family. As God told us...

You see we started this whole journey because WE BELIEVED GOD TOLD US that adoption would be part of our family. I won't lie and say I have never wondered as things went in a completely different direction then we set out on, did we miss it? Did we not hear right? I have been confused as to what exactly am I to believe God for at times.

Bear with me as I go off on a tangent for a little bit. Last week our family went to see the movie "The Blind Side"
We Absolutely LOVED it! I sat there thinking Father God this is my heart. Adoption is my heart. My husbands heart. My boys hearts. You see I have greatly struggled with the foster program. We have said from day 1 we never wanted to be foster parents but adoptive parents. I hope that does not sound harsh. It is just the truth. Fostering is not our hearts. I know some people have a heart to foster and I can not tell you how much I admire them. It is not one bit easy. Don't get me wrong. I know that the birth family is equally as precious to the Lord as our family. I know if birth mom is healed God will have done an amazing miracle. I do pray for her but it is such an emotional conflict at times. How do you pray not against her or yourself? I just have to pray for God's will. For what is best for these girls. God really only knows and I know he wants that more than I do. I do pray for birth mom to be healed and I do pray that the girls will be ours. Ultimately I pray that the father hold every heart involved and will bring about HIS plan for everyone. If my heart is wrong then I trust my father will correct it and if it is right then I look forward to one day being on the other side of all of this.

In a lot of ways this experience has crushed us but the Lord has been close to us. He really is closer than he has ever been. For that it has been worth it. Did I just say that? Yes every miserable moment has been worth it and I am sure every difficult moment ahead of us will be worth it and I don't just mean that if we get the girls. Either way it has been worth it.

So I will end this post with a verse and a story about adoption a friend of mine shared on facebook today:

"Make me hear sounds of joy and gladness, let the bones you crushed be happy again."
Psalm 51:8

Why Some* Christians Don't Adopt

Here’s why: It is difficult.

If you think it’s difficult…

  • filling out all the paperwork
  • talking to your family and friends about why you’re adopting
  • coming up with the cash for the adoption fees
  • waiting, hoping, and praying for a child
  • waiting for 7 days to see if the birth-parents are going to change their minds (for domestic adoptions in our state)
  • answering questions from strangers about your child
  • making sure you send pictures and letters to the birth-parents
  • answering questions from your child about adoption
  • answering questions from your child about his birth-parents

…it is.

Adoption is difficult. There are more reasons why adoption is difficult. But here’s one of the payoffs: it’s worth it. It’s worth it to look into my son’s eyes and my whole being rejoices, “My son!” It’s worth it to look into my daughter’s eyes and and think, “My precious baby girl!

And since when did we Christians think we were called by Christ to do only things that are easy? I’m not above this. I choose the easy path way too often.

But let us have this mind among us which is ours in Christ Jesus, who took the difficult road that we might be adopted into God’s family. He didn’t seek the path of least resistance. No, he carried a cross (and stumbled) down a path to a hill called Golgotha. He took the path that led to nails piercing through skin, muscles, tendons, and bones. He took the difficult way so that we who trust him could become his brothers and sisters and sons and daughters of God. The Father adopted us at the great cost of his son’s life.

Don’t let the difficulties of adoption keep you from adopting. Don’t adopt because it’s easy. It’s not. Adopt because it’s worth it.


Monday, November 30, 2009

The Latest...

Dear Ones:

Well last week we took baby girl hungry. Nothing changed. She still screamed and did not want to be fed by birth mom. Now we have to take baby girl to an attachment therapist with birth mom to see if the therapist can help them to bond. The visits are also staying at 2 hours. I really feel like I am in the trenches and it is incredibly difficult. I sometimes wish that adoption never came into my heart. I also sometimes feel that I have to be completely crushed for God to be glorified. Feeling very low right now.

Monday, November 23, 2009

Week 46 - “Sun Flare” Photo Challenge!

Dear Ones:

I am giving it another try over at I Heart Faces. This week the challenge is sun flare.

Be sure to go check out all the other entries this week:

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Drumroll Please...

Dear Ones:

I did it! I opened an Etsy shop!

It is called Cre8tive Charm

For now it only has knitted items and as soon as I get some more jewelry supplies I will add items to my hand stamped jewelry section. I am chomping at the bit to cre8 for you!

Let me know what you think.

On a more personal note please keep praying for me. You know the verse "hope deferred makes the heart sick." Well I am in a heart sick pit right now. Please stand in the gap for me.


Wednesday, November 18, 2009

By A Thread...

Dear Ones:

That is how I FEEL this week. Like I am hanging on by a thread of hope. Do I BELIVE God is big and He can do anything. Absolutely 100% with out a doubt. I just don't know how he intends to do something BIG. You see I would love for it to be these girls are ours forever. That would be my idea of BIG. I honestly feel if these precious girls leave our home I will feel the grief of losing a child. I know healing the broken hearts our family would feel if that is the situation would certainly be BIG! Does God intent to heal birth mom and restore things that way? That certainly would be BIG! I just do not know. I know my flesh repels the thoughts of the latter two. Not the most spiritual way to think I know but I am just being transparent here.

Last Friday we started our 2 hour visitation and it went just like we thought it would. Baby girl screamed. Nothing was different. We talked with our case worker to see if 2 hours was really necessary since nothing changed. They brought her out to us 4 times to calm her down and then as soon as she was calm they would send her back in. The case worker seems to think we need to continue. My husband told her then we would not stay for the visit to be a human pacifier. He said we would be back to rescue her but he did not like what it said to baby girl that we would repeatedly send her back in there. Each time she came out it took longer and longer to settle her down. The case worker also said for us to work it out for Baby girl to come hungry so birth mom could feed her and bond with her. This is where my flesh gets really ugly. I hate that thought! She has never fed her or cared for her needs and I am selfish with this. I am really having a hard time surrendering this. I do not even know how to explain it.

I still really am having such a hard time. So I ask that you continue to pray for our family. I feel like a spiritual weakling right now because my flesh just feels so BIG right now.


Wednesday, November 11, 2009

My Heart Just Sank...

Dear Ones:

I really really need you to pray for me right now. I just found out from our case worker that visitation is changing. You see we go every week and Baby girl literally screams her head off the entire hour. The case workers seem to think the problem is the complete and utter chaos in the room from all the other siblings so they have decided to change visitation for 2 hours so baby can visit alone with Mom for the first hour and then Big sister can visit with all the other siblings and Mom for the second hour and maintain a bond with everyone.

Needless to say I am not at all in a good space right now. I can't stop crying. I HATE this process!!!!!!!! I HATE the enormous risk we are taking!!!!!!! I am in so deep now though, I completely love these girls and I am really afraid I may have to trust God for an outcome I can hardly bare the thought of. If one more person tells me "well if they do leave at least you loved them and gave them a good start." I think I will lose it!

Visitation is literally the worst part of my week. Now for it to be 2 hours means I have to spend the first hour wrestling with Big Sister which is no easy task to say the least. She has made progress but still is extremely challenging.

Please pray...

Saturday, November 7, 2009

I'm Considering...

Dear Ones:

I can not believe I am about to post this. I guess I would like to know what you guys think (I think) I am nervous. Let me give you some background as to why. You see I have been a stay at home Mom for the past almost 14 years. I would not trade that for anything in the world. I view that as a MAJOR blessing and gift. It has been my passion and still is. I also have wondered though what else there was to me. What else I had to offer. Not that I felt there is lack in being a Mom because nothing could be further from the truth. I know society can look down on that position and I find that very sad. I also know that life changes. Kids grow up. It at times was a very difficult struggle for me to think when I am at that point, then what????
You see I have no education past high school. No special training. I often times felt I had no special talents or skills. So what is a girl to do when you are done wiping bums etc. etc. ?

Well to explain my nervousness a bit further when we started our adoption process I thought I can earn some money from home to help with expenses but still be here with my kiddos. All I needed was to find the perfect opportunity. So the quest and trial and error began. I tried so many things to make a buck: Coastal Vacations, photomax, Send Out Cards, Disciples Cross, Mary Kay. All with HUGE failure or LITTLE success. I really felt worthless and plain stupid to be honest. How did I time and time again fall for the hype? I so badly wanted to be good at something. It was a big blow to my self esteem.

Since then I have discovered new and true passions. I LOVE photography and learning is such a pleasure. I have also started knitting on looms since my son bought me looms for my birthday and have to say I am quite proud of myself. Finally, I started making personalized hand stamped silver jewelry. These are things I genuinely enjoy. So here is my consideration. I am considering opening an etsy shop to sell my crafts. I think the difference here, compared to everything else I tried before is I will do these things (Photography, knitting, jewelry) whether I make a single cent or not. The cool thing is, people are paying me to take photos for them which is amazing! One person ordered a bracelet from me which was tons of fun! There just is nothing better then to actually be paid for doing something you LOVE!

So I risk asking you what do you think? Should I go for it?

Bracelet I made for a friend of mine. Her daughters nicknames.
I made this for myself because Baby Girl is our little "Hootie"
A phrase that brings me much comfort on our adoption journey.
Love this hat!
Hat and Cocoon set
First hat I made for Baby Girl


Monday, November 2, 2009

More Blessings...

Dear Ones:

I just wanted to share some more blessings that have come our way recently. The first picture is from an online buddy. I never cease to be amazed at how My Heavenly Father has brought me support through this blog. He has brought people who understand and can relate to exactly where we are in life and that is a beautiful gift. My new friend sent my girls some new threads and they are so cute. Thank you so much!
Second, was another fun day in the mail from my mother in law who sent Baby Girl some stuff to be winterized. It helps meet a need so much and my colors too woo hoo!
Finally, was a gift from my friend and stylist. An adorable book for some adorable sisters.
I am so thankful to everyone who has been so generous with us.


Saturday, October 31, 2009

Chomping At The Bit

Dear Ones:

There is a contest that I am just chomping at the bit to win. There is an amazing photographer and her work is so what I would like to be able to emulate. When I see what she has done I just drool all over the place. SIMPLY AMAZING. This is the type of artist I want to be someday. She is giving away her photo workshop workbook on her blog. I have longed for these workbooks for such a long time but with 6 kiddos it just is not at the top of the list of things to purchase when it comes to the budget, so I have all my toes and fingers crossed hoping to WIN! This blog post is one of my entries. Go to her site and check it out, Just click the link below:

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Good News

Dear Ones:

The doctor called today and the heart murmur was a flow murmur which will not require any more medical action. INSIGNIFICANT Praise Jesus! Thank you for praying!

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Challenges Are Hard - One Of Those Days

Dear Ones:

Today is one of those days where you either have to laugh or cry. I am currently somewhere in the middle. Big Sister had to have an echocardiogram today. The doctor heard a murmur and wanted further investigation. We are hoping it will be insignificant.

Here is the scene from the hospital.

Picture one white woman (that would be me) coming into the ER with a twin stroller with two beautiful brown baby girls. Sounds peaceful right? Well, I came in with my hair blown to bits because it was so windy outside, but I was praising Jesus it was not raining because it took me forever to open the stupid stroller. It is an ancient one and lets just say not the most user friendly. The appointment was at 11:00 and who knows why because I did not get in until 11:45. This left plenty of time for an adventure in the waiting room. Baby girl was awake during her nap time and was discontent. Big sister was major disgruntled because she wanted out of her buckle which I was not about to do. Been there done that and not a wise choice. I thought to myself goldfish will help. They help everything right? Big sister then began to chew the goldfish up then spit them over the side of the stroller as if it were tobacco or something. I decided OK we are all done with goldfish then. Well Big sister was so upset about that decision that she proceeded to swing her arm back and then hit me as hard as she could as she let out an Incredible Hulk growl. I could feel the eyes burning in my back but I did not have the courage to look anyone in the eye. Finally they called for us. I am sure everyone was happy to have us leave. Then the real fun began as the ultrasound room looked more like a WWE event. I basically had to pin her down. The Tech tried to give her some gel to use as "lotion" as a distraction which she proceeded to eat as she was writhing around on the bed. The Tech assured me it was water soluble and safe. Let's just say I never want to do that again.

Now that the drama is over we are waiting on the results. Please pray with us that they bring good news. I'll post when I know something.

Big Sister has some challenges. She is behind in her speech. Her vocabulary is minimal which brings lots of whining. Sign language has helped some and I am hoping speech therapy will do wonders. It just makes me incredibly sad for her start in life. Pray we can give her what she needs to be the best herself she can be. I hope you had a good laugh at my expense!


Loved This!

Dear Ones: I got this devotional in my e mail this morning and I just had to share it with you:

Would it shock you to know that Jesus experienced the feeling of having accomplished little?

In Isaiah 49:4 we read these words: “Then I said, I have labored in vain, I have spent my strength for nought, and in vain….” Note that these are not the words of Isaiah, who was called by God at a mature age. No, they are Christ’s own words, spoken by One “called…from the womb; from the body of my mother…The Lord…formed me from the womb to be his servant, to bring Jacob again to him, (and to gather Israel)” (49:1, 5).

When I came upon this passage, one that I’d read many times before, my heart was in wonder. I could hardly believe what I was reading. Jesus’ words here about “laboring in vain” were a response to the Father who had just declared, “Thou art my servant…in whom I will be glorified” (49:3). We read Jesus’ surprising response in the next verse: “I have labored in vain, I have spent my strength for nought” (49:4).

After reading this, I stood to my feet in my study and said, “How wonderful. I can hardly believe that Christ was this vulnerable, confessing to the Father that he was experiencing what we humans face. In his humanity, he tasted the same discouragement, the same despondency, the same woundedness. He was having the same thoughts I’ve had about my own life: ‘This isn’t what I perceived was promised. I wasted my strength. It has all been in vain.’”

Reading those words made me love Jesus all the more. I realized Hebrews 4:15 is not just a cliché: our Savior truly is touched with the feelings of our infirmities, and was tempted in all ways as we are, yet without sin. He’d known this very same temptation from Satan, hearing the same accusing voice: “Your mission is not accomplished. Your life has been a failure. You’ve got nothing to show for all your labors.”

Christ came into the world to fulfill the will of God by reviving Israel. And he did just as he was commanded. But Israel rejected him: “He came unto his own, and his own received him not” (John 1:11).

Why would Jesus, or any man or woman of God, speak such despairing words as these: “I have labored in vain”? How could the Son of God make such a statement? And why have generations of faithful believers been reduced to such despondent words? It is all the result of measuring little results against high expectations.

You may think, “This message sounds like it applies just to ministers, or to those called to do some great work for God. I can see it being meant for missionaries or the Bible prophets. But what does it have to do with me?” The truth is, we’re all called to one grand, common purpose, and to one ministry: that is, to be like Jesus. We are called to grow in his likeness, to be changed into his express image.

I (Michelle) can so relate to that emotion. I am sure many can. Our whole adoption process is NOTHING like what I perceived to be promised.We were once told we were foolish to have done this and often times I told the Father that is just how I felt. I read something this week though that brought me comfort. "We all err in many ways. Let me err on the side of faith." Beth Moore I have no doubt in our excitement to bring home our daughter Eric and I made mistakes. Thank God he does not withhold his help after the fact. I am sure God has awesome things in store. I can certainly say he brought us to a place I never would have chosen but I love where he has brought me in HIm. I look forward to where He is going to take me. Let me end with this:

"Whether the circumstances that lead to our fiercest battles are someone else's fault, our own fault, or the fruit of life's unfairness, having God as our Father grants us this hope: A perfect setup for catastrophic defeat is also the perfect setup for miraculous victory." Beth Moore

I praise God that he understands me. How unsafe it would be if he didn't. I am hoping that if I err it is on the side of faith and I am waiting for miraculous victory. I can't wait to see what that looks like.


P.S. ( I have some more blessings to share later when I get some more pictures, this was just burning in me this morning)

Monday, October 26, 2009

Week 42 - “Halloween Dress-Up” Photo Challenge

Dear Ones: This week over at I heart Faces the challenge is Halloween Dress up. Just last week I had a photo shoot with an adorable little one who was the cutest scarecrow ever. Leave me a comment and let me know what you think then head on over to I heart Faces to check out the other entries.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

David Crowder Band - How He Loves

Pause the playlist at the bottom before you watch and listen

Amen - That is all I can say!

Monday, October 19, 2009

Showers Of Blessing

Dear Ones:

I just had to share some more God S.T.O.P.S
I feel like a shower of them have been coming down on us.

The first picture is a gift from my neighbor. She spent some time at Once Upon A Child yesterday and came back with some goodies for my girls. Some cozy P.J.'s for Big Sister and a warm bunting bag for Baby Girl.

Picture number 2 is of two beautiful handmade blankets given to me yesterday from a family from church.

Picture number 3 is the box that came on Friday from my sister-in-law filled with some much needed fall /winter clothes for Big Sister. She should be set now.

I just had to share. Thank you Jesus!

Week 41 - "Pink Week" Photo Challenge

Dear Ones:

The theme at I heart faces this week is "Pink Week"

I hope you enjoy my entry. I always enjoy your comments.

After you check it out hit the button below to check out all the other entry's


Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Vintage Pearl Giveaway!

Dear Ones:

In case you haven't noticed. I love The Vintage Pearl Jewelry. They are having a giveaway for their new pieces and I would so love to increase my collection. Go to their site now and see what is on the table.

My Prize & Love Language

Dear Ones:

Well, my much anticipated Vintage Pearl Prize arrived yesterday. I have to say I am IN LOVE! I love this jewelry so much! So much so that I have started to dabble in making my own, but it doesn't even come close to Erins work. Hopefully in time I will have the resources and skill to be good like this. This necklace is just precious to me. It has my 6 packs nick names on it. The only bummer is Big Sisters nick name has changed since I ordered my prize. It just sort of happened naturally. Rascal fits her personality but just was not sticking. Elijah started to call her Bonbon and we all knew that was it! Perfect fit! Se la vie, I guess. Isn't it gorgeous?

The next Picture has to do with FEELING loved. I think it is one thing to know someone loves you and an entirely different thing feeling it. My first love language is words of encouragement followed very closely by gifts. Don't you just love knowing you are thought of fondly? Some dear friends of mine brought me a baby book with special adoption pages yesterday. I had one for Baby Girl but needed one very badly for Big Sister. It is like a double portion of love because My Heavenly Father knew I desired it. My Friends once again were His hands. Thank you dear ones.

Finally, could I just ask for some more prayer support today? Some days this whole foster process just gets old. The constant invasion and visits. The wonder of how it will all play out. Will they be ours? Will Jesus have to heal our hearts? Please do not misunderstand, I am still trusting my precious Savior. Honestly I have never felt closer or more in love with Him. Even more so I do not think I have ever felt His love more. That my friends, is an incredible blessing. One I do not know I would have attained had we not had the journey we have had. So I am thankful for that. This stinking flesh has to be put down and my mind renewed daily I tell ya. So I probably just need to go and sit at His beautiful feet for a while. Still I just thought I would ask for you to lift me up. Discouragement tries to creep in and I have been battling today.


Monday, October 12, 2009

Week 40 - “Excited!” Photo Challenge

Dear Ones:

This weeks theme over at I heart faces is EXCITED! I took this shot at field day last year. As you can see my Canaan was very excited!

After you check it out make sure to stop on over to I ♥ Faces and check out the other amazing entries.


Sunday, October 4, 2009

He's Held Me Today

Dear Ones:

God really does use His people to touch our lives. My friend who came to watch the 6 pack today came with a get away basket. You can see in the picture above all the special treats she surprised us with to enjoy. There were crackers, cheese, apples, wine, nuts, and CHOCOLATE! She just melted our hearts and multiplied our blessings today. We took the basket down by the river and just enjoyed some "us" time. I think the Lord has known I have really needed the support because he has been sending His hands all week. I am still enjoying my beautiful flowers from Monday. Thank you Father... Thank you hands.

Fragile...but Strong

Dear Ones:

Fragile explains exactly how I feel sometimes. I must admit that I don't like that about myself but it is my reality at times. It is funny for me to think I can go to church and make it through worship without tears. Today was particularly hard for me. It has been bothering me since Friday how upset baby girl gets at visitation. At least when we get her back she immediately settles down. It just has been breaking my heart that she gets so upset one hour a week with someone she sees once a week. How would it be if one of these grandparents gets custody. To hand her over to someone she has never seen and not be able to scoop her up in an hour and tell her everything is OK. The thought just makes me weep.
My faith and trust are not wavering. My dependance on my God has only intensified. But still sometimes I feel so fragile. I need Him more than ever. I love Him more than ever. I fall more in love with these girls with every passing minute. My pastor made the comment that God knows we are fragile. How comforting that was today. How safe to be real with my Savior. Hold me today sweet Jesus.

I'm sure this is not a well written post because I am just a ball of emotion but I had to get it out.

The pictures above are of some special moments this week. First is another God STOP. How I love recognizing them in my life. A friend from church had our older boys over for a sleepover last night and when we went to pick them up she gave us this bag of fresh basil and stuff to fix pesto. YUM!! It smells so good and I know it will be so tasty. She also offered to come over this afternoon to watch the 6 pack for us. I tell you I have been praying for God to send us some help with just having some re-charge time.He has come through BIG time. Just this week a Mom sent me an e mail saying her teenage daughters would volunteer their time to watch the 6 pack. I almost cried as I read the words come a crossed my screen. Then today in church a woman gave me her number for just that reason. Then my friend coming over today is such a blessing. I love these kids so very much but I feel I am a better parent and Eric too to just have some time away and recharge. Something I was not sure we would have the opportunity since we have so many blessings. I am just so thankful for the help. And to be approached by it is even better. I so hate asking someone to babysit. I know it is no small task. So in about 30 minutes my hubby and I will get away for an hour or two. I am so looking forward to it.

Finally my Woo Doo lost his first tooth this week and he officially has a first grade smile now. Isn't he such a cutie?

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