Friday, April 4, 2008

Little Mercy...

Hello Dear Ones:
I am obviously back from Charlottesville. It is always good to be with friends and also wonderful to come home to those who you missed. Sadly, when I came home Zion woke up in the night with a fever and was in a lot of pain. The doctor confirmed an ear infection and prescribed antibiotics today. My poor boy. 
I am so excited about all the people joining my group. How loved I feel. How thankful I am for the prayers. I am sad that there isn't any Guatemala updates right now. I hope you enjoy the living during the waiting.

For todays post I have something vulnerable to share. It is an attempt at a poem. I was not good at grammar or spelling in school so please don't grade it. Still I want to share it. It was inspired by a dream I had last night.

Little Mercy

I dreamt of you last night
At first sight of me you had a fright 
I was overwhelmed as I had you in my glance
My heart said, precious daughter please give me a chance
I could not wait to hold you in my arms
I wanted to forever keep you safe from harm
Your dark hair was not very neat
Nevertheless you looked so sweet
Your eyes were smaller than I thought they'd be
They were so very precious as they looked up at me
Then the dream ended and I awoke
I began to wonder if God had spoke
Little Mercy it is so hard to wait
Nevertheless my dream was great
I can hardly wait for it to come true
Little Mercy I can hardly wait for you

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

MAJOR BUMMER

Well due to circumstances that can not be helped I will unfortunately not be able to make the trip to Charlottesville tomorrow :( Another time I guess.

It's Beautiful...


Just look at that floor!


Finished and beautiful!

The table inlay looks great with it

No more nasty carpet WOO HOO!

On another wonderful note: I am off to Charlottesville tomorrow. I get the pleasure of riding up with some of my bestest friends and get to stay the night with some more bestest friends. Yes I know bestest is not a real word :)

Sunday, March 30, 2008

Everything is in His hands...

This was the worship song we sang this morning at church that made me ball my eyes out. You see my hands have been full lately. Trusting God has been a major struggle for me. So I have held on to everything trying to figure it all out. An emotional panic so to speak. You see I have absolutely no idea how this whole adoption is going to play out. Let me explain myself, here are the burning "I don't know's" that run through my brain all the time: Where will the money come from because we just don't have it? Will we qualify for financial aid? Will Guatemala open back up? Will we have to switch countries? What am I good at that I could enjoy and get paid for but still be at home for my family????? That last question in and of itself has been ongoing and a heavy thing to hold. Then you have the fact that in a very short time my whole world will be changing. Canaan will be starting Kindergarten and I seriously can not dwell on that thought without falling apart. So I push it aside and think I will deal with that when I have to. 
The sad part about all of this is it has affected my main passion, which is my family. Eric has heard more crying than I am sure he cares to, all though he doesn't let on to that. He remains a constant source of support. My thoughts are so full with "figuring it all out" that I don't "think on my boys" like I should. This brings on much guilt. Guilt about my struggling trust. Guilt about what it does to my family. Guilt that I need so much encouragement. Then I doubt. Am I a good wife, mother, friend, person????
I say all this not for you to pity me, my life is very good I don't need pity, but that you will pray for me. Pray that I will grow closer to my heavenly father and that I can really trust him and truly place everything in His hands. Pray for Guatemala and my baby girl there. Pray for the funds. Pray that I am a help not a hinderance to my family. Pray that I get back to where I feel God's good pleasure...when I bless my family, for me nothing is sweeter! Pray that I empty my hands and put all this in His.
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