Wow! I can not believe that tomorrow will mark our one year anniversary since we heard from the Lord and began to move forward with the adoption process. In a lot of ways this has been one of the hardest years of my life. An emotional roller coaster to say the least. I thought when we started all of this that tomorrow would have a different feel to it all. I honestly thought I would have my baby girl in my arms by now. I had no idea the financial strain and pressure we would experience. The following scripture I have to repeat in my mind over and over again:
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and don't depend on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and he will direct your paths."
I need this on so many levels in my life, not just this adoption:
- I need to trust as my life changes as my precious Canaan starts kindergarten in August, and how I feel like my heart will burst with missing him and missing what my life has been over the past 13 years as a stay at home mom.
- I need to trust Him through all this financial uncertainty.
- I need to trust He will prepare me to parent teenagers, and he will help me lead them continually to Him.
- I need to trust Him as I start my new Mary kay Business. I am so excited and nervous all in one.
- Basically every single facet of my life requires His leadership and oh how I need to hear Him and feel him directing me. Especially when I don't understand and lately I don't understand more than I do.
So what will the year ahead hold? Obviously lots of new experiences. More waiting. Trusting. Hoping. Hopefully some answers. Hopefully a beautiful brown baby girl :) Definitely joining with my Heavenly Father as I walk this path. I anticipate great things through great struggle.
Please keep praying!
On other notes I wanted to give some thanks:
The above picture shows a couple of blessings we received this past week. First you will see a beautiful bookmark and small worry doll from Guatemala. These were given to me from my friend Emily. She recently went to Guatemala and brought these things back for me. She is such a sweetie. I was so thankful for the dinner invitation to their home last week. A rare occurence for our herd. Then the red card came from the Smith family. It is a dinner gift card to a local restaurant. They presented this to us after Church on Sunday just because they have had our family on their mind lately and wanted to bless us. I hope they know how much they have.
God is Good All the Time!