Thursday, June 12, 2008

I Miss Someone I have not Even Met...

Hello Dear Ones:
I had another dream about My little girl last night. I dreamt that she was brought to me and as soon as I saw her I burst in to tears. It was just like when I gave birth, as soon as I saw my boys I exploded with emotion. I woke up a bit disgruntled. I thought Lord it has been almost a year and we are not even closer to her. 
Some things that brought me comfort:
  • Well a good 2 hour cry helped, coupled with my husbands sympathetic ear.
  • Visiting my friend Chris blog, he posted some family pics he took of us and included Mercy in his post...for some reason this just melted my heart and every time I thought about it I could not stop crying. I am sure that makes me sound like a freak but it blessed me more than I am sure he realized.
  • Visiting another blog with a happy post about their adoption journey. I thought one day I WILL make a post like that...and I can not wait!!!
You know, as we were packing up our huge van for our vacation last week I could not believe all the stuff we crammed in there and I said to Eric "it will be so much more when Mercy is here." Babies have so much stuff, just about as much as the whole family combined for the smallest member. Canaan heard me and said "Mom I wish Mercy was here I really miss her." I just smiled. I know exactly how he feels. I miss someone I have not even met yet.


15 comments:

  1. I know how hard it is to wait to meet your new child...I know waiting for my Bella from Guat was SOOOOO hard. Guatemala is a hard journey. But I so hope they open back up. The children need families to love them. I can only imagine how hard this is on you, waiting so long. I am sorry.rhtpz
    Maria

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  2. One day your dream WILL become reality. I understand the hardship you are facing all too well. Praying for peace for you during the wait...

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  3. Hey Michelle,

    First off, thanks for posting a comment! Very encouraging...good to know prayers are being lifted!

    As I read your missing Mercy post, I was struck at the knowledge that ALWAYS when we wait for Christmas morning as a child, waiting for your husband to come back from war or a VERY LONG business trip, when Bill and I waited SO LONG for Caela...PAINFUL waitings! When the IT finally came, whatever the IT was that I was hungering for, it always just swallowed up EVERY SECOND I struggled before IT'S arrival. EVERY SECOND. As if there had been no waiting at all. I don't know if that is encouraging or not in the thick of the "WAIT", but the truth of it is astounding.

    Much love...cheryl

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  4. To everyone: Thank you for the words of encouragement and understanding and also for the precious prayers.

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  5. Hey Michelle,
    Thanks for your comment. If you switch to one of my layouts you can still put a picture in your header. You will lose your 3rd column though. I customize blogs to add a third column if you're interested. Just see www.LeelouHeaders.blogspot.com. You have lots of stuff on your sidebars, so some might get erased. If you want me to fix that just let me know which layout you'd like and I'll send the a new HTML to use.
    *Leelou*

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  6. Thanks for the blog shoutout... I can't imagine how much you miss that little girl whom you've yet to meet... You'll meet her one day though.... we're continually praying for you guys through all of this.

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  7. The waiting is SO hard. I know that she WILL come home. Hang on friend. What a sweet post. Your heart is so beautiful!

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  8. Hey Michelle!
    Some day I will post again-the dossier world is sucking us down right now!! But we're so close to being done and then....waiting. Always so much with the waiting, eh? God just has so much to teach in the waiting, I am convinced. I just ache for Guatemala to open back up for you guys and for so many and for the sweet little children and moms who need families. I will be lifting y'all up to Him in the coming days/weeks/months-whatever it takes!!!!!

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  9. Hey Michelle,

    Just found your awesome blog! I'm the mom of 5 sons.

    They are grown now, and I'm the Grammy to 3 adorable grand~DAUGHTERS!!

    I'll be praying for the arrival of Mercy. What a beautiful name.

    So nice to meet you♥

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  10. Michelle I just found your site. We have been considering adoption ourselves but have not started on the journey yet as I feel that God wants us to wait for now. I will continue to keep updated on your blog

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  11. just found your blog today. We adopted 2 precious girls several yrs ago. My story is different since I have never been a birth mom. Once we adopted one yr. into our marriage (God was busy at work very, very early) my desire to be a mom was complete and my heart is ALL OVER ADOPTION. I have told people if God told me I had the choice to have one more child and could choose to either give birth or adopt I would adopt in a new york minute!! I was wondering though...why Guatamala? Ours was here in the U.S. and much, much easier. Just curious.... I know I will frequent your blog.

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  12. Traci,

    We thought of adoption for over 10 years and earnestly prayed for an answer for over a year until we got a yes to do it. We felt led to our agency and always were attracted to other cultures. Guatemala had what we were looking for. It has been a HUGE struggle since the closure but we can not tear our hearts away unless we end up being forced to. Which will happen if things do not open back up before Feb. 2009. At that point we will have to terminate or switch countries. I am so happy to have an adoptive Mom frequent my blog. I appreciate the support, understanding, encouragement and prayers. Thank you for stopping by and taking the time to comment.

    Blessings!
    Michelle
    PS do you have your own blog?

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  13. Michelle...I do not yet have a blog. I am soooon going to get a camera that likes me :) and takes great pics and then I will join this crazy little blog world. I remember the day when I said, "What is a blog and why would anyone want one?"..lol
    I checked out your store and LOVE IT. As an adoptive mom I have often felt a bit forgotten in areas like baby books, books in general and even showers. We adopted them 10 yrs ago and things have really come a long way. I plan on getting one of your shirts...its just deciding which one. I have to admit I really love the one that talks about not looking like mommy or daddy but looking like their heart. We have had a few comments thru the years about where my sweet red head got her red hair since we dont have red hair...we just taught her to say...God gave it to me. Like I said, I will be a frequent reader...I saw many similarities that we share... adoption, God, and I too can NEVER watch Little House on the Prairie and not cry :)
    Your new blogging friend~~Traci

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  14. Traci,

    I am so glad you found me. I hope you get a camera and can blog soon. I have a camera wish list too. Thank you for checking out my store. I am glad you enjoyed it. Let me know what shirt you decide to order. I must admit the one you mentioned is one of my favorites. Mercy will look so different from me when she gets here, so it is a special design to me. How funny to find another Little House Lover. I am collecting the seasons and the boys and I are about to finish season 2.

    Welcome to my journey new blogging friend.

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  15. I've had dreams like yours. You are so right about the wait being so hard. We are now in Ukraine adopting our little one, but the wait leading up to our departure was torture. Hang in there. ((hugs)) Your day will come and so will hers.
    http://theukrainetrain.blogspot.com

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"As for me and my family, we will serve the Lord."

Joshua 24:15

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